The Party of Lincoln Is Dead

Marco Rubio

Marco Rubio


I know, the party of Lincoln stopped being the party of Lincoln in the 1960s, but damn, the Republican party is spun out of orbit and it’s now cartwheeling uncontrollably through outer space.

It’s true that the gerrymandering and Koch brothers money has been effective at capturing state legislatures, governorships and a lot of US House seats. But when it comes to presidential politics, the party is screwed. Just look at these candidates. I thought it was bad in 2000 when George W. Bush won the nomination. I remember laughing when Bush won and thinking, “Gore will wax the floor with this moron’s ass.”

It didn’t work out that way and we ended with 8 years of terror attacks, retaliatory war, wars of choice and complete economic collapse. What did the party do next? They picked Sarah Palin to be John McCain’s vice president candidate. Had McCain won, Palin would still be in the White House today. Sarah “Effing” Palin a heartbeat away from becoming the president of the United States of America.

The Republican party did sort of get its head straightened out when Mitt Romney won the nomination and he chose Paul Ryan as his running mate. While I disagreed with Romney’s policies and his claim that 47 percent of Americans are a bunch of losers living off the dole, he wasn’t a moron or an ideologue. Romney lost because GOP voters don’t want educated, informed and thoughtful candidates. The Republican party wants Donald Trump. The GOP loved Palin. Republicans like people who say really crazy shit. The shit that sounds like what they’re saying to their friends at the local bar where they’re drinking “High Life” because they like it – they’re not trying to be hipster ironic.

With Trump positioned to capture the nomination, the party of Lincoln is long dead and buried, resting cold in it’s grave. The Republican party is now reality TV. How much longer before candidates are eating pig intestines or building pyramids out of toilet paper rolls?

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