March 6, 2016
NEW YORK, NEW YORK – Today, Hillary Clinton announces that she does, in fact, like chocolate. The former first lady, senator and secretary of state maintains a healthy and balanced diet, one that frequently includes chocolate.
“I love it,” Clinton told reporters outside her New York campaign office. “When I was a kid, I would eat so much chocolate, that one time I actually vomited on our kitchen floor. It was actually quite disgusting. The dog tried licking up the chocolate vomit, but she slipped and fell into it. If you ever get a chance to seen a Burnese mountain dog covered in chocolate vomit, don’t do it. I couldn’t eat chocolate for nearly fives years. But I love it now.”
As president, Clinton said that she will give every man, woman and child free chocolate bars.
“If you vote for me, I will give you chocolate,” Clinton said Sunday.